Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Legend of Mid Autumn Festival - Shewsbury Style

This is not a copy and paste from the Wikipedia article. If you want to read the Wikipedia article, click here.

This is now, a unique special version of the same legend from Shewsbury Land (Rating : Mature / 18SX).



WARNING!!! : This article contents explicit sexual words and sexual act intended for those mature audience (18 years and above). If you are below 18 years old, DO NOT READ this article.





Shewsbury Media Group presents:

The Legend of MoonCake and MidAutumn Festival – Shewsbury Style


Bee Dee was an immortal and Char Bee was a beautiful young girl, working in the palace of the Jade Emperor (the Emperor of Heaven, 玉帝 pinyin:Yùdì) as consultant to the Queen Mother of the West (the Jade Emperor's wife).






Bee Dee aroused the jealousy of the other immortals simply because he have a bigger penis that can perform continuous sex activity for 2 hours – while the rest have a standard size penis that could only last for maximum 30 minutes and some just a mere 3 minutes….













So those jealous immortals slandered him before the Jade Emperor and just like any other Chinese or Western movies, the Jade Emperor is a little stupid and believe all the lies as eventually he himself feel threatened as he suffered from a gonorrhea (you know, that scary thing to happen on your penis). As a side notes, despite having 4 wives and several entertainment ladies for his pleasure, he never managed to get laid for the last several years now.











The stupid Jade Emperor told Bee Dee and his wife, Char Bee, to get out from heaven. They were forced to live on Earth.








Bee Dee had to run a Chinese restaurant specialized in dim-sum to survive and during his leisure time he joined the Shewsbury Archery Club and became a skilled and famous archer.





At that time, there were ten suns, one day, all ten of the suns circled together, causing the Earth to burn.




Emperor Lee On, the Emperor of Hong Kong, commanded Bee Dee to use his archery skill to shoot down all but one of the suns and along the way writing that popular song Season In The Sun.





Upon completion of his task, the Emperor rewarded Bee Dee with a pill that granted long lasting erection and possibly endless sexual pleasure, known today as Viagra.







Emperor Lee On advised Bee Dee not to swallow the pill immediately coz this can be a disaster if there is no partner for intercourse, but instead to save the best for last – what ever that means.





Bee Dee assume that the Emperor ask him to only use the pill when there is really a need for it, he never knew that it was a Viagra. Bee Dee took the pill home and hid it under his pillow.







One day, Bee Dee was summoned away again by Emperor Lee On. During her husband's absence, Char Bee, noticed a white beam of light beckoning from the rafters, and discovered the pill. Out of curiosity Char Bee swallowed it and immediately found that she could fly.






Bee Dee returned home, realizing what had happened he began to reprimand his wife.






Confused, excited and annoyed, Char Bee escaped by flying out of the window into the sky and onto the moon.







Bee Dee pursued her halfway across atmosphere using GAT-X105 Strike Gundam but the battery don’t have enough power to reach the outer space and because of strong winds, he was forced to return to Earth.










Char Bee reached the moon, feeling horny up to the maximum level all the way but nothing much she can do.




On the other hand, Bee Dee was left alone at home now and most of the times he just do the “ta fei kei” (masturbation) out of boredom.







But after several days, he had enough of “ta fei kei” (masturbation) and miss his wife so much. So he built a Nu Gundam HWS and go to the sun and built himself a palace there, representing "Yang" (the male principle), in contrast to Char Bee's home on the moon which represents "Yin" (the female principle).









The sun represents Yang (male)




The moon = Yin (female)




The symbol of Yin and Yang.





If you ask why did he went to the sun instead to the moon, well, at that time, there is the sacred law that at all time with the exception of the Equinox period, only 1 person are allowed to be in the moon. Any body who break this law will become a rabbit.




Once a year, on the fifteenth day of the full moon, Bee Dee visits his wife. That is the reason why the moon is very full and beautiful on that night.








This version is truly nonsense but somehow you manage to go through to it till the end…. right?








end

10 comments:

  1. *after laughing his head off over 10 minutes*
    OMG~! XD

    That was surprisingly entertaining yet... umm... "informational", some what.

    *nudge-nudge, wink-wink over*

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  2. WTF >w< the most pervert parody ever.

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  3. OMGWTF. I certainly did not expect that! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Very entertaining, DJ, maybe you should do this more often...

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  4. Marzz, if I do it often, then it's no longer special LOL....

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  5. BD77, I have a feeling that one of the character is you... not sure if I'm correct though... LOL

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  6. Aya... I think your name were mentioned there as well... but not sure if it's really your name, but the sound is almost the same... LOL

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  7. I know me as decade completed form right !-_-!

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  8. LMAO! wow that is one hilarious legend. very educational, they should teach like this at schools XD

    i didnt notice the names till you mentioned it lol nice

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  9. RockLeeLotus, maybe next time we should include you as one of the character as well since you like it so much.... LOL...

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